My life in a couple of bags and boxes, walking to the nearest station in the rain as I don't have a buck to catch the bus, completely drenched and forever confused. Sometimes I think I might just throw in the towel. 

I have been realising over time that the past few months and years of my life are archetypal of BPD. I'm sick of it. I find myself saying "just stick with something you stupid fuck" and still I continue to throw away or fuck up or just not realise good things in my life. Because in my mind these things are not what I want. But then I do. And then I don't want anything. I hate this.