i used to not feel anything at all 

and then i did, too much 

just someone else to hide 

in my mausoleum of personalities 

i cry not because of happiness 

or sadness or pain or pity 

when i feel so disconnected 

it sort of all just feels the same 

anyway 

i feel an affinity most with people 

who are long

long 

gone 

whose words are permanently 

sewn in cross stitch 

in my head 

like glorified bible verses 

and strings of rosary beads 

entrenched beliefs and high school reveries 

this century 

they say 

we're living the dream
and aren't we.